#MicroblogMondays: Flexibility?

Microblog_Mondays

(Not sure what #MicroblogMondays is? Read the inaugural post which explains the idea and how you can participate too.)

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I should know better to write a blog post where I’m all like, Hey, check this out! I get up early and do yoga every day now!

Because last week I managed yoga once, on Monday morning. (I think, anyway. Maybe?) I meditated every day – that is non-negotiable for me, even 5 minutes is better than nothing!- and journaled a few times, but I was out late one night, and I’m old and tired and for the rest of the week the 5am alarm just didn’t work out for me.

Sleep is GOOOOOOOOOOOOD.

I’m really trying to be flexible about this practice, mostly because I know if I don’t, I won’t actually practice yoga or meditation at all. I can’t be all or nothing about it, I know this. Some days it’ll work for me, some days it won’t.

Which sounds a lot more Zen than I actually am about it, quite honestly.

I don’t know how or when our summers got so damn busy. I feel like I’m juggling a billion plates and really having to focus in order not to let something drop.

And the whole time I’m left wondering and freaking out, kinda: OMG. I created a life for myself where every moment is busy. I am totally buying into the “busy as a status symbol” thing! This isn’t the kind of life I want to live. I need to simplify.

And I start thinking about the things I can strip away in order to simplify, and I don’t have a good answer. And I panic, a little, because THIS is the life I built – where I can’t find any time? Where does all that time GO?

But then I practice sitting and being, and I love it, and I want more, and I just don’t know how to create more space in my life for it without cutting out things that bring me joy… or that bring in money so we can, you know, pay our bills.

I think I’ve decided to inhabit middle ground right now; where I admit that yes, I’d like to have MORE time to spend just being, but the reality is that I don’t actually have that time. Right now my 15 minutes of meditation I’ve managed to do every day has got to be enough – I can commit to that. And yoga, when I can add it, helps, too.

Of course I want more, because it’s so nice to sit there in stillness and breathe and feel my own aliveness and let my mind rest for a few minutes every day.

But I need to be flexible right now.

And yes, I am trying to steal moments throughout my day to breathe and be. I actually took lunch for the first time in YEARS last Tuesday, where I walked to the harbor and watched the boats and breathed in the sea air. I turn off the music in the car some mornings and just breathe while I drive. I put on specific songs which help me stay grounded. Whenever I take the dog out to do his business, I breathe in the scent of summer in my backyard.

But I still want more. I want to fully inhabit my whole life, not just stolen moments where I look up from my to do list and think, oh yeah hey! I’m alive here!

I just don’t know how to do that.

Yet anyway.

So there’s that.

Do you find summer to be super busy as well, or are we the only ones who overbook?

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6 Responses to #MicroblogMondays: Flexibility?

  1. Deborah says:

    My summers are busy, but generally with fun stuff, so it doesn’t stress me out. And I think I’m just happier in the warmer weather anyway. But in general, like probably all Anericans, I struggle with wanting to know that I even remember how to relax but also feeling like there are so many things to do and I want to get it all done. Too much in either direction feels wrong.

  2. Pleaides says:

    Honestly, there must be something wrong with me. Because I don’t experience my life as busy. Pretty much ever. There’s work. There’s the kids. There are a certain number of social obligations and vacations. But, really, that doesn’t feel “busy.” And I can’t understand how everyone except me always has so much on their plates.

  3. JustHeather says:

    This year my summer feels quite busy. Mostly it is because I am at home with a baby and toddler (and husband while he’s on holiday) and there is just no way we can “do nothing” with the toddler or he goes wild-crazy. And trying to coordinate schedules of the two kids…ai ai ai. 🙂 I know it won’t last forever and I’m trying to remember that this sleep deprived state won’t last forever either. But I sure am looking forward to my toddler being back in daycare.

  4. Mel says:

    Summers are a weird schedule. They’re both busy and empty at the same time. Work feels crushed into spots, and there never feels as if there is enough time to get stuff done. But then we’ll have whole days at the pool.

  5. Mali says:

    It’s always interesting for me to see how others spend their summer. With no kids, my summers would inevitably be easier and less stressed. But I think southern hemisphere summers are a bit easier too – not only is school out, but so are businesses. New Zealand pretty much shuts down over the end of December and most of January, and pace of life is forcibly slower.

    I’m glad though that you are finding time to breathe and be.

  6. loribeth says:

    Not having kids, we don’t have any of their activities to run around to, so we’re not busy in that sense. But yes, we’re still busy, or at least, busier than we are during the winter. The weather is nicer so we are out more, walking almost daily and doing yardwork, and there are more social invitations for barbecues and lunches on restaurant patios, etc. Our wedding anniversary is coming up and we will be heading up north to a resort for a few days — then off to visit my parents for two weeks. So July hasn’t even started and most of it is already booked!! A couple of former coworkers & I were trying to find a mutually agreeable date for lunch and we finally gave up and agreed to try again in August. 😉

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