I found out at 4am when I woke from a nightmare. Jeff was already awake.

When he told me that he came to bed when it wasn’t looking good, I reached for my phone and confirmed that yes, in fact, it wasn’t good news.

I both don’t have the words and also have too many words right now.

I’m feeling like I’m on a flight with terrible turbulence and I am trying to tell myself I’m okay, because, really, it’s just politics, and we live in a democracy with built in checks and balances in the internet age, so, really, what can happen in the next four years?

Except that it’s personal and so I’m panicking at the idea that nearly half of the country thinks what he’s said and done in the past year is okay. And that people hate me and there’s nothing I can do to change their hate, and what kind of world did I being my son into where all this hate exists?

I’m actually panicking. Over politics.

So, for today, I’m going to take deep breaths and try and find my center.

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