Not sure what #MicroblogMondays is? Read the inaugural post which explains the idea and how you can participate too.
As surprising as it still is to me to say that I sometimes struggle with anxiety (I swear, I was NEVER an anxious kid!), over the past few years I’ve had to accept the reality that I do, in fact, struggle with anxiety.
And I will also admit that the past few months have been particularly bad. There are myriad reasons why, mostly having to do with all the words I see which I’m trying hard to navigate as well as the sometimes overwhelming BUSY of my days.
Trying to keep space for it all is really, really hard.
A couple weeks ago, I had a couple days that were so bad, anxiety-wise, that I considered calling my doctor and making an appointment to discuss medication. I have a personal policy to put as little medicine into my body as possible, so it was kind of a big deal to even consider it.
But then a friend of mine told me he gave up caffeine a few years ago because he had been struggling with anxiety as well. He said it was really helpful. I didn’t think I drank a lot of coffee – just a travel mug first thing in the morning. And it was my happy place, my morning meditation. It’s rich and comforting and warm and I love it. Jeff jokes that it’s the coffee that makes me human in the morning, which is really only partially a joke.
But I have noticed that some mornings that it’s only really been after my coffee that I’ve felt the buzzing of the anxiety grow in my stomach and the bands start to tighten around my chest and my mind start to run away with the obsessing.
So I decided to try an experiment. I’d wean myself off caffeine and see how I felt after a couple of weeks.
The first week I had a small cup of caffeinated black tea every day, the second week I allowed myself three days of green tea, then went completely caffeine free with a decaf coffee I found online that is nearly as good as our regular favorite kind.
I’m a little shocked to report that I feel SO MUCH BETTER. Grounded, more balanced, calmer. I’m a lot more sleepy during the day, which sucks, but my body isn’t buzzing and racing in the morning anymore without any reason, and I’m sleeping better at night.
I had no idea how much it was affecting me.
The good news is that I still get my morning cup of comfort – just in decaf form. I am SO happy I was willing to give it up.
Would you ever give up coffee?