Space.

A few months ago, for this week, I scheduled Owen for a goalie camp with his soccer club. They have a number of camps in different locations all summer, but this one was perfect – in the same town as my job.

On Sunday night, surprised I didn’t get an email with information and directions, I went online to check the registration.

It wasn’t for this week. It’s NEXT week – the week we are away at the lake for our annual vacation.

I’m working on figuring out with them what the hell happened – the guy in charge of camps said they did move some camps, so hopefully I didn’t just completely mess up my dates.

But in the meantime, Owen didn’t have camp this week.

I’m fortunate with my job that I can bring him with me to work – my coworkers adore seeing him, and as long as he has some kind of screen to keep him occupied, he’s actually fine there.

But it means that I have NO break from parenting and responsibility.

Yesterday I woke up feeling claustrophobic with everything; packing for the lake, work, juggling my workout schedule, parenting, dishes, laundry, animal care… BAH.

So I asked our babysitter if she could stay a little late. Thankfully she agreed. And I totally went and did a little shopping, then had dinner with friends.

Walking around the shopping center, I could feel myself lengthening, unwinding, relaxing, breathing a little deeper. I found a pair of cute sandals on sale. I had a cocktail and a salad for dinner. And I laughed and chatted with my friends and smiled the whole way home.

I often feel guilty for my need for Me Time, like I’m a crappy mom because I need it so much. I mean, really, think about it: I have one kid who is pretty well-adjusted and a part time, flexible job. I get an hour a day to myself to work out. Really, I have it good. Suck it up, Karen, and be an adult.

But then I realize: a few hours to myself with no responsibilities refreshes and relaxes me. Getting space makes me a better mom, more able to choose happy and love over stress and frustration.

I need space. It’s just part of being me.

So I’m going to keep trying to make space for myself, especially for the next month or so while Jeff is traveling for work.

Do you need Me Time? How do you make space for yourself?

 

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3 Responses to Space.

  1. jjiraffe says:

    That sounds great! Good for you for making me time. I also need me time. I should try to schedule some too. 🙂

  2. Turia says:

    I need me time and am not getting it at all this summer, which is hard. A couple of times I have hired our nanny for a day but that has been so I can spend a day with E doing fun stuff we can’t do with P in tow.

    I am coping by waiting for September when I will have four days a week to work, which feels like it will be me time, at least at first, since I will be doing my own research. But I am also going to make time then to work out AND to sometimes have lunch with my sister AND to sometimes have some time just for me. I find this very hard because I feel like if I am paying someone to look after my kids I should be working but I will be a better researcher and a MUCH better mother with some time to myself.

    I am realizing more and more how much of this boils down to personality. I am not lazy or selfish to need these things- I just do.

  3. Chris says:

    I’m in a different boat because I don’t have kids. But I do have a husband and two dogs who pretty much expect me to be available 24/7. My husband and I both work from home, which is mostly fabulous. But, sometimes I NEED my me time, or more realistically? My girl time. I need that time with my girlfriends, and although I go to bunco every month, otherwise? It’s been lacking lately. In part because of the absolute clusterf*** of a “staycation” we tried to take a few weeks ago that landed us both in the ER. So, now I’m also playing NURSE on top of it and well…I’m at my limit.

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